Lobster, Lobstah!

My mama came into town this past weekend and one of her demanding (wink, wink) requests were that we obviously chef up lobster for dinner one night.  Okay, mom... twist my arm why don't you?  You see, in the four years that I have lived here in Seafood Heaven, I have forgotten that it's not all that prevelant or easily accessible (or even affordable) in the Great Midwest.  I forget the Red Lobster is the norm.

Obviously no offense meant to Red Lobster lovers.... 

I have had a great many lobsters in four years out here.  In fact, I have taken them for granted.  I've brought back a dozen Maine lobsters at points in the past years.  I consider two lobsters per person to be standard fare.  I know how to cook 'em and crack 'em and which parts are the tastiest.  I have learned that some people eat the legs and the body - but I have got two theories on that - the legs are too much work and the bodies contain too much (in my opinon) unedible goop.  Believe it or not, some diehards disagree.

Fun Lobster Facts:

• Chicken Lobsters are littler lobsters - between 1 pound and 1 1/4 pound. 
• 1 1/4 Lobster have considerably more meat than their smaller friends.  that 1/4 pound makes a huge difference.
• Lobsters do not in fact scream. It's morbid, I know.
• Hard shell lobsters (vs soft shell) have more meat.
• The white stuff around the meat (most noticably in the claws) is congealed blood.  It scraps off easy and is semi tasteless.
• You might find orange-y colored stuff in the tail.  It's lobster eggs.  Some people eat it as lobster caviar.  (No thanks!)
• Lobster meat is incredibly low in calories.

There are many ways to cook a lobster, but I prefer to steam them over boiling them. 

You'll need a giant pot filled with two inches of water.  Salt and bring to a boil.  I put my steamer in the bottom of mine, but this step is not necessary.  Once your pot is boiling, say a little prayer for your friends.  Or find a heartless boy to do the dirty work.  I'm not going to lie, I get real sad whenever I have to make a lobster meet his/her fate.

Put the lobsters in the pot and cover.  You'll want to steam them about 15 to 18 minutes depending on their size.  You know they are good and ready when they are a bright red and their little legs tear off with relative ease.    Again, I didn't say this was a PETA friendly dinner.  At this point, use a tongs to fetch them out of the pot.  They will be hot.




Gorgeous red color





T-shirt wearing for Lobster Eating.



  

The cooking part is relatively easy, it's the eating part that amateurs get stuck on.  Here's the way I was taught to eat lobsters - taught to me by someone who grew up in Maine and knows how to get to the business of lobster eating.

• Prepare yourself with paper towels.  A whole roll could come in handy.
• Also, get a bowl or recepticle of some sort for the lobster carcasses.
• Melt butter to dip your delicious in - place in a ramekin or other small dish.
• First, off come the claws.  Place your hand along the lobster body and twist until they pop off. 
• Repeat for the tail. Sometimes a lot of steam/hot water comes out, so handle appropriately. 
• Discard the shell of the body.  There's a lot of goop up in there. 
• Now it's time to get to the eating part.  If you're eating soft shell, most likely you won't need crackers.
• When it comes to the tail, I get the meat out by pressing down on the under side of the tail in a few places.  Press until the shell cracks and then pull back on the sides of the tail.  This will loosen the tail meat in one piece and it should slide out of the shell.
• I go through a ridiculous amount of paper towels in cleaning off various parts of my lobster meat.

Mom loved cheffed up and eating the lobsters.  We got them in South Boston at a wholesaler for $6.25 a pound, so our (4) 1.5 pound lobsters came out to about $43.  Not bad for a really tasty dinner at home.